Makenzie was incredibly excited over the coming days until she was going to head into the city and try to find her father. Time couldn’t move anywhere fast enough. It was summer break after her first year of community college and so there was little to do aside from preparing for her trip. Packing her bags was done on the first day after some apprehension over what to bring, what to wear in particular. In the end Makenzie decided to pack a few different outfits. Planning took up some time as well. She needed a place to sleep so that required getting a hotel, this was something that was a new experience. Yeah she’d been in a hotel before but never booked one and going to one alone in the city was way beyond anything she’d ever done. Much of the rest of the four days was spent either reading over the journals or discussing with Brittney.
—
Remember when you took me to that toy store Daddy? The one you said was only for adults and I was too little to go there alone. Yeah that one! You bought me a big girl toy there. Said it was to give your little kitten something to remember you by when you weren’t there. I’ve been using it Daddy, pretending it’s you.
You can’t see me right now cause you’re not here. I’m at home alone and I’m on my knees practicing my big girl kisses. Well actually I’ve stopped cause I can’t write and practice my kisses at the same time. Even that, writing, is kinda hard with all the tears. I don’t think it’s really crying if it’s fun right Daddy? Like really bad allergies mean crying doesn’t have to be sad but so much more fun.
I’ve been practicing the kinda big girl kisses where my throat was struggling to do as I wanted it to and be good. You told me Daddy that it was cause I’m too little but I really, really want to kiss like a big girl, for you. I’m getting better too, Daddy. Well not just for you. Remember what you said? Like when you said that if I got, like, really good at big girl kisses then you’d ahhh…I’m kinda embarrassed…okay really embarrassed.
Daddy I want to kiss your friends too. I’ll kiss your Daddy parts like a big girl and you’ll let me do that right? Okay Daddy I’m going to get back to my kissing practice, bye-bye.
Ohh, one more thing. I’m going to take a picture with the camera and send it to you. I want you to see how much better I’m getting. I’m so excited for next time. When will that be Daddy?
—
“So did you decide where you’re going to go looking for your Father first?” Brittney asked, tipping back the deck chair with one foot up on the low outdoor table. Her friend was referring to the return addresses on the envelopes, of which there were many. Makenzie had made a list of every single one and how often a letter was mailed from each.
“Well there seems to be four locations that he’s currently using but of those one is rarely used. I’m tempted to go visit the lawyers office since it’s the least scary. I’m afraid though that they’ll just tell me that they can’t discuss anything about their clients. So that just leaves the restaurant since I don’t really want to go to the other you know?”
“I don’t see what you’re so worked up about Kenzie. I came through and got you that ID right.” Makenzie held up and looked at the fake ID that Brittney’s older cousin had somehow managed to acquire. “I know you’re into girls too so going to a strip club shouldn’t be a bad thing.” Brittney smirked at her straight laced friend.
“I’d feel so awkward being in there. I’d just rather go to the restaurant first.” Makenzie’s eyes averted uncomfortable with even thinking about the idea of being alone in the adult club.
“What do you think your Dad does there? What if he’s a male stripper!?” The chair came down with a thud as the idea sprang into Brittney’s head.
“I think he’d be kinda old for a Stripper and besides I checked the website and it’s a gentlemen’s club Britt.” Sighing before adding. “I’m not going to watch my dad dance.” The very idea seemed to unsettle her. “He seemed to be older way back when so I don’t think that any such thing is possible.”
“You never know some girls like older guys, Kenzie.” The smugness in Brittney’s voice was something that happened a lot as her wilder friend loved to tease her for being less adventurous. “I do for one and I’m not the only girl either who likes older guys. I mean I don’t like them anywhere that old but some do.” Makenzie hoped that her blush wasn’t visible as she was discovering that she could be counted as one of those that liked older men. At least if her own response to the journal’s was anything to go by.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s only girls who dance there or at least the website makes it seem that way.”
“So what do you think he does there? Like he manages the place or something?”
“Honestly I don’t know. Guess I’ll find out when I meet him.”
“Well one thing’s for sure I don’t think someone who works at a strip club will have changed as much from the fun and crazy type like your mom did.” Brittney flipped a page bursa escort bayan in one of the journals she was reading through.
“You think so?” It was an idea that hadn’t really occurred to Makenzie up until this point. Until now she was assuming that her Father must have given up on the whole Daddy thing like her Mother did. Could he have moved onto other sexual things or was he still into that?
“Well yeah. I don’t know what the hell happened to you mom Kenzie that she’s changed so much. Are you sure that she doesn’t do anything like this and just keeps it hidden from you?”
“Yeah I’m sure. Like I said I even searched her room and she didn’t have anything that would indicate she still did something like this and you have no idea how much my mom seems to hate men in general.”
“Okay but if he works at a strip club though how much do you think he might’ve changed?”
Mackenzie shrugged in response. It was a great question but was an idea that left Makenzie’s mind still awhirl as to what this might mean.
“It’s still crazy to me though that this was your mom. Like here she’s talking about how she misses Daddy so she’s being bad on purpose so she can get in trouble. I don’t know how I’m going to keep a straight face next time I see her. How do you manage it?” Brittney doesn’t look up from the journal.
“It’s not so hard. I guess because this doesn’t seem like my mom.” Do I really want to ask about this when I meet him? Maybe he knows people who are into this but it’d be so embarrassing. Why did she want this so badly?
—
We were having so much fun Daddy or at least I was having so much fun playing the PS2 you bought for me to play when I’m at your house. You weren’t playing so maybe I was the one having all the fun. You don’t play after all. I was doing so good though and it was the best ever to just cuddle up to you well I was playing. The way you were holding me with those little touches every now and then was making the game harder but so much fun. I was wishing that you did play so I could suckle on you Daddy. Wouldn’t that be so hot if I was on my knees well you tried to play?
Then you got a phone call and you were telling me that you needed to go. I couldn’t believe it. It was like 10 O’clock at night. Why did you have to run off then? What could be so important? What could be more important than me? Was it because we were doing something that only I was interested in? Was my cute little thigh high socks and the fuzzy purple tube top not cute enough? Why did you go Daddy?
By the time it was after midnight I was getting angrier and angrier. I knew your rule and that I should be at least trying to sleep but I was too upset to care. My mind started to whirl with ideas of what you were doing. Were you with another girl Daddy? I went and got out the ice cream and started eating it straight from the container. I turned on the dirty channel and paid for a movie. I knew you owned some dirty DVD’s and I of course knew that I wasn’t allowed to watch them without you. You’d already told me that I was too young to be watching them alone. I knew you’d be even more upset that I’d bought something on-demand.
By the time you got home the ice cream was melted and knocked over running across the table and even a little onto the floor. Some had spilled onto my top and I had a little on my face. I didn’t care and if I’m honest Daddy I probably did it on purpose. I was angry and I wanted you to be angry. I wanted you to say something so I could yell back but you didn’t. You just took everything in so calmly. I really didn’t expect that.
I’d played this over and over in my mind but there in my head you never did this Daddy. I no longer felt confident and started to slump back into the soft leather couch. You must’ve known Daddy that I was slipping and before I even knew it you had a hold of my hair, forcing me to look at you. I wanted to say something. Tell you how angry I was before the now growing fear.
“What do you need to do, Kitten?” You sounded disappointed and I closed my eyes and slumped back as much as I could. Not very much with how tightly you were holding my hair.
“Kitten needs a spanking Daddy.” I sighed as you released your grip and then crawled across your lap. Wincing as the first slap across my ass landed. It wasn’t light and I knew that that this would leave me sore for days. Then more and more in rapid succession and I squirmed but I didn’t try to escape. I needed this from you Daddy. Good little girls shouldn’t be angry with their Daddy’s. I shouldn’t have been bad. I’m your’s and needed this so much.
—
Living in a small town outside of the city. Far enough outside that people debated if my little town was even considered a suburb of the big city. Mom certainly seemed to think that we didn’t have anything to do with what she considered that craziness. As far as I could remember she only ever talked about how terrible things were in the city. That indoctrinated bursa escort sitesi me I think. My mom did that on purpose but reading over the journal’s she couldn’t wait to escape and go see Daddy in the city. In every post where she was at home, before she moved in with him anyway, Mom wrote about it. Fuck Makenzie once again wished she knew what had changed.
“Are you nervous?” Brittney asked. Makenzie and her friend were sitting on a wooden bench at the train station. They’d had to drive there because the commuter train didn’t extend as far out as where they lived.
“Yeah.” Makenzie rocked forward in a futile effort to avoid the chill breeze of the morning. “Yeah, I’m all kinds of nervous. What if he doesn’t want to talk to me or even see me? What if I’m wrong about who he is? What if I’m too scared to even say what I need to say?”
“Well…” Brittney leans against her shoulder. “…if it all goes bad let me know and I’ll come get you.”
“Really?” Already full of so many strong emotions this offer was a bit overwhelming. “Shit! I’m already becoming a mess. How am I going to do this?”
“You will and if you’re emotional it’ll just show that you’re being honest with him.”
Makenzie felt an arm wrap an arm around her at around the same time she could feel the deep rumble of the approaching train. “Thanks Britt.” Standing up now and grabbing her bag.
“When you get back you’re going to tell me every little detail of course.” Brittney said with a smirk.
“Yeah, hopefully there’s something to tell.” The words drowned out by the now overwhelming rumble of the train as it settled into a stop at the station.
—
Having taken a seat toward the end of the train car where Makenzie could be to some degree more alone. At this point the train was pretty empty anyway since it was a late morning train into the city. Most people had to go to work at an earlier time and this was the first station. So it was likely to get busier as the train got closer to the city. She pulled the hood of my gray sweater over my head trying to look like I wanted to be left alone.
The sights passed by the window and Makenzie sipped her soda slowly for a bit until boredom overtook her. Pulling out her tablet and navigating to a document she’d created. For a while she’d debated whether to pack one of the journals or not. Deciding in the end it would be best to bring a few of the letters and spend a few hours taking pictures of the journals so that she’d have a digital copy of them all. A lot easier to travel with and something permanent for herself. Only now realizing though that she should have probably put them back in their hiding place in the garage along with the shoebox of letters. It was too late now. It didn’t seem likely that her mom had to deposit those letters very often considering the dust that had settled into place and a letter had just arrived so it was unlikely another would be mailed anytime soon.
—
I was twirling back and forth in front of the mirror, loving what I saw. The dress you’d bought me was so cute. The white, translucent material swished back and forth as I twisted this way and that. I loved it Daddy and the black and white shoes were just so perfect as well. They looked like old style school girl shoes with their low wide heels and cute little metal buckles. The kind girls used to wear at fancy private schools. Do girls still wear them there Daddy? The leather cuffs hugged my wrists and ankles so comfortingly and the white lace that covered them was so perfect for the look. I hoped my makeup was just right Daddy. I know I’m not so good with it yet but I’m getting better I promise. I wish I was confident enough to ask my friends for help. Hopefully I’m pretty enough for you Daddy.
I read again your instructions that came along with the little card that came along with the wonderful outfit you’d picked out. The rest of the items were kind of scary but they were so exciting as well. I could hear the noises coming from outside the room. So exciting and so scary. I picked up the collar and rubbed my thumb across the metal tag. It had Kitten stamped into it. I wrapped it around my neck and then attached the last little lock into place. Last of all was the white leather leash which I clipped to the loop on my collar.
The last item was the scariest with how big it was, nowhere near as big as Daddy of course but still big and I didn’t put it into place just yet. The boy part seemed so big for something that would be buckled into place. I knew I was supposed to wait here. So I laid down in your bed and used the tip of the gag and started to play with myself. I don’t know what to call it Daddy. It was like the toy you’d bought me but also a gag. I’m so confused by the name but it felt really good using it this way. Was I supposed to be doing this I didn’t know. I wasn’t going to have cummies though. I knew that much Daddy. I was a good girl.
—
The train had gone a few stops before someone took a seat near Makenzie. She was thankful it was in the aisle seat across from her. Also very thankful that this was a woman and not a man considering what she was reading. She already felt self conscious and waited for quite a while before mustering up the courage to pick up her phone and resume reading her copy of the journal. Even then waiting until the women seemed totally engrossed in her phone.
—
I’m so sorry Daddy. I know I was begging for this and I knew how much effort you put into all this but I… I just panicked. I don’t know why but I did. I’m so sorry. It was just too much seeing the three other men and that one woman. Seeing them looking at me like that. I know I probably embarrassed you so much by clinging to you like that. Well with my arms locked behind my back I wasn’t clinging, I couldn’t really cling but you know what I mean Daddy. I couldn’t talk either but you’re so smart. You could tell something was wrong.
You held me though and that was so nice. Your voice and words helped so much. I didn’t have to go through with anything and that you would be there the whole time. All I had to do was go sit with them and see how things went from there.
Could you see me shaking Daddy? Do you think they could see it? It felt like all their eyes were looking right inside my soul. One of the men seemed younger and he was sitting on the couch with the women. He seemed less scary and well, sitting next to another woman was comforting somehow so I picked a spot between them. A hand from each quickly rested on each of my thighs. I know I jerked and the woman chuckled.
—
A little over an hour after the start of the train ride Makenzie arrived at her stop. It wasn’t fully into the heart of the city. More on the outskirts really and was close by to the hotel. Which itself was close by to the two main places she was planning to visit in Makenzie’s quest to find her father. Makenzie felt more conflicted now then ever as she walked the short distance through the somewhat intimidating area of the city to where she was planning to sleep. It was a somewhat rundown area of abandoned warehouses that were beginning to be transformed into other new uses.
Six blocks later and the old rundown hotel came into view as Makenzie rounded a corner and got a glimpse past an equally rundown looking independent gas station. Frowning as the hotel didn’t look like the pictures online. Well she was only really planning to sleep here and not hang out like it was some luxurious resort. More importantly it was cheap and that was what really mattered because Makenzie had very little in the way of money.
The door to the office was propped open using a concrete block and Makenzie did her best to muster up her confidence and sound like she’d done this before. “Um, hello. Anyone there?” Calling out to what looked like another hotel room behind the counter. Then seeing a white plastic doorbell buzzer on the old worn counter and pushing it.
“Yeah.” A foreign man replied emerging from the other room. Indian maybe or some area around there. Makenzie didn’t know enough to say of the balding middle aged man.
“I’ve, ahhh, got a room. A reservation I mean.” Realizing that she sounded way less confident then Makenzie wanted to.
“Name.” The older man asked, sounding bored.
Makenzie gave her name sounding she was sure way too nervous and shy. If the man even noticed he didn’t seem to respond and soon Makenzie had a plain white keycard in one of those little paper protectors, this one equally plain white.
The room turned out to match the hotels outside. It was really kind of disgusting but what could be done at this point? Deciding that the answer was nothing, Makenzie tossed her backpack onto the second bed. Well at least she wouldn’t have to do much of anything but sleep here. Wanting to waste as little time as much as search for her father so Makenzie headed right back out into the early afternoon sun.
—
The restaurant turned out to be closed down and by the looks of it had been for quite a while. “Ahh.” Throwing her head back in frustration. “How the hell!” Pacing around now and wondering how the latest letter had come from here. It didn’t make sense. Everything inside looked abandoned and everything was covered in dust inside.
Makenzie was about to give up when she noticed one of those little doors to the side of the restaurant next to a hair salon. The kind that leads to an apartment above. Pulling out the letter and checking the address against this apparent apartment. It matched so she’d just been fooled by the Google maps marker. Did he live here? In all the journals he seemed to have money and this dump didn’t seem right for someone who had any choice.
There was a mail slot but there didn’t seem to be any mail on the ground. Though it was hard to tell through the dirty glass of the door if this was indeed an apartment or something else. Nor was there any doorbell or buzzer. There was a spot where some kind of black box was. A camera maybe or smart doorbell? Waving at this in case it was one of those fancy ones that automatically notified the owner that someone was at the door. Nothing happened though and Makenzie thus had nothing to do.